Tuesday, December 09, 2003
For some reason I have always been a magnet for jerks. I’m serious; almost every boyfriend I have ever had has treated me horribly, turned out to be a psycho stalker, or just dropped off the face of the earth without a backwards glance. I have never been able to find a decent guy to date. I mean I’ve really had it all, abusive boyfriends, boyfriends who forgot my birthday for both of the years we were dating, and boyfriends who would tell me they loved me and wanted to marry me one day and then not call again for over a month. So to say that over time my heart has become a bit frayed at the edges is an understatement.
However, there was one guy that I began to date, but the relationship fell apart before it really got a chance to start. Because of that, he has always stood out as the “one that got away”. I met Jeff my freshman year of college, and he was perfect. Or everything I can remember was perfect. He was a senior at Kings Point Merchant Marine Academy. Tall, dark hair, sea green eyes, that can catch your attention from across a room, and a body to die for; he was definitely drop dead gorgeous. On top of that he managed to be sweet and charming and always knew the right way to romance his way into my heart.
Unfortunately, we were the victims of bad timing. That is the only thing I can possibly attribute to our breaking up, because I can not think of anything that really ever went wrong between us. I met him while I was down at Goucher, right after I broke up with my high school sweetheart, Brian. Unfortunately, I was not over Brian and never gave my whole self to Jeff. I also was in the middle of all the usual freshman drama that distracted me from how good I had it. Jeff obviously was not stupid and saw through me, and he eventually closed himself off to me. By the time I realized what an idiot I was, he was gone and we were soon over.
On top of our emotional difficulties, Jeff was getting ready to graduate from the Merchant Marine Academy and was extremely stressed with his workload and his unknown future. He had no control over whether he would be sent out to sea after school was completed. He told me he did not want to restrict me at such a young age and felt it was the best thing if we ended things then before either of us got hurt further.
I never got over Jeff. I found myself holding him on this higher pedestal to compare any other guy I dated. The funny thing is that at the beginning of our relationship Jeff told me that he had never remained friends with an ex after a break up. Although we were both quite upset after the break up, it took some time but we ended up remaining in touch. The other important thing to mention is that our chemistry never fizzled.
However, there was one guy that I began to date, but the relationship fell apart before it really got a chance to start. Because of that, he has always stood out as the “one that got away”. I met Jeff my freshman year of college, and he was perfect. Or everything I can remember was perfect. He was a senior at Kings Point Merchant Marine Academy. Tall, dark hair, sea green eyes, that can catch your attention from across a room, and a body to die for; he was definitely drop dead gorgeous. On top of that he managed to be sweet and charming and always knew the right way to romance his way into my heart.
Unfortunately, we were the victims of bad timing. That is the only thing I can possibly attribute to our breaking up, because I can not think of anything that really ever went wrong between us. I met him while I was down at Goucher, right after I broke up with my high school sweetheart, Brian. Unfortunately, I was not over Brian and never gave my whole self to Jeff. I also was in the middle of all the usual freshman drama that distracted me from how good I had it. Jeff obviously was not stupid and saw through me, and he eventually closed himself off to me. By the time I realized what an idiot I was, he was gone and we were soon over.
On top of our emotional difficulties, Jeff was getting ready to graduate from the Merchant Marine Academy and was extremely stressed with his workload and his unknown future. He had no control over whether he would be sent out to sea after school was completed. He told me he did not want to restrict me at such a young age and felt it was the best thing if we ended things then before either of us got hurt further.
I never got over Jeff. I found myself holding him on this higher pedestal to compare any other guy I dated. The funny thing is that at the beginning of our relationship Jeff told me that he had never remained friends with an ex after a break up. Although we were both quite upset after the break up, it took some time but we ended up remaining in touch. The other important thing to mention is that our chemistry never fizzled.
