Joy's Journal

“We need to repent for our sins. I want to be your spiritual advisor and guide you down the path to righteousness.”
“What? What sins? I mean I know I’m not perfect, but I don’t really seem to remember straying off the path of righteousness.”
Katie sat on her bed looking up at Richard incredulously. Who was this man? She had been dating him for the last six months, yet as he stood over her now with his lists and his Bible, preaching to her about repenting and spiritual advisors, she realized she didn’t know him at all. This was definitely not the man she had fallen in love with.
“I want you to finally know me for the real me. Before I met you I didn’t believe in premarital sex. Then I gave up my morals for you. I want us to repent for that sin we committed. I want us to be born again virgins until marriage. In fact, until marriage I want us to give up lust completely. No lustful actions at all, except for kissing, and no lustful thoughts. Lust is one of the seven deadly sins and I don’t want to think of my wife in a lustful way. I want you to be wholesome,” Richard proclaimed, shuffling through his papers. Katie sat there staring at him in shock.
“Do you want me standing there like Betty Crocker with a Bible in my apron pocket, barefoot and pregnant? This is ridiculous, Richard. No lustful thoughts? No lustful actions until marriage? That’s not even realistic. And I never forced you to give up your morals. You chose to sleep with me. I never tied you to the bed and made you,” Katie argued. She looked at him and saw the strangest look in his eyes. There was no emotion there. It was scary, and he spoke with such a bitter tone in his voice.
“Katie you don’t get it. I can’t love you until you accept these conditions. I thought I loved you, but now I realize I can only say I care about you, because you’re not what I need you to be yet. I need us to view the Bible the same way and turn to it for answers to our spiritual questions. I need you to view moral issues the same way I do. Right now you’re still a baby killer because you believe in abortion,” he said pacing across the room.
“A baby killer?!? What the hell? I never said I would have one, I just said that a woman had the right to choose. And what the hell does that make you? You’re in the military for Chrissakes!!” Katie interrupted angrily. He whirled around to stare at her.
“Please do not use the lord’s name in vain. And that is different. I’m giving back to our country. I’m doing it for honor. Here let me read these Bible passages to you and try to make you see the error of your ways,” Richard reprimanded. He began to read from the Bible. Katie’s mind was racing a mile a minute. Who was he? How could he turn all of his emotions off like a light switch? This was not Richard. Just earlier today he had been joking around on the phone with her about getting a cat together. She was allergic to certain cats, yet for some reason she was not allergic to her roommate’s. So he had been saying he’d take her to the animal shelter and hold up all the cats in her face until they found one she was okay with. And now this? Now he couldn’t love her until she met his conditions? That was not love. Love had no conditions, that’s why they call it unconditional. She slightly tuned back in to listen to him, he was droning on now about condemning premarital sex, wait and homosexuality? She immediately jerked around. Her godmother was gay and he knew that.
“Wait were you just saying that you condemn homosexuals?” she asked.
“I do not condemn homosexuals, I just condemn their actions. They’re sinners in the eyes of God,” he replied. Her stomach began to heave. She had never been so consumed with feelings of love and hate at the same time. She thought she loved this man, yet at the moment all she could feel were feelings of repulsion by him.
“How could you say that? God created them the way they are, how could He then condemn them for acting out the way they are?” she asked.
“He might have created them that way, but to be true Christians, they are supposed to overcome their lustful cravings and become stronger because of these cravings by denying them and staying on the path of righteousness.” He responded.
“So you’re saying that they’re just supposed to spend their whole lives being miserable and denying their true identities? I somehow find it hard to believe that that was God’s intent for them.” Katie responded bitterly throwing a pillow off the bed at him. It missed him and bounced off the wall behind him.
“See this is what I mean,” He frantically flipped through the pages and began to read from another Bible passage about two yolks bouncing off each other. “I interpret this passage to mean that a Christian is not supposed to marry a non- Christian, they’d never mesh. Although, you’re supposedly a Christian, we believe in two different Gods, that is why I cannot love you or marry you until you accept my God,” he angrily stated, waving the Bible in her face.
“Just because I do not want to believe that God is a Zeus- like figure sitting up on a throne with a lightning bolt waiting to strike us down if we do not follow his rules and regulations for getting into the pearly white gates, does not make me any less of a Christian than you. I’m sorry if I’d rather believe that God is a caring and benevolent soul that accepts and loves us as long as we try to be good and caring people and live the best lives we can,” she choked out with tears running down her face.
“Ugh whatever,” he sputtered out exasperated. “I need space for awhile. I just can’t be with you right now. I need you to evaluate yourself. Start your path to discovery; confess your sins to your friends and family. I’ll check back on you in a week or so and see about your progress. If you can see the error of your ways, maybe then we can be together. Otherwise right now I just really cannot see how I can be with you,” Richard said and turned for the door. Then he looked back to where she was sitting on the bed, “I do care about you Katie, and I do want to be with you, that’s why I’m trying to save you. I just need you to see what I see.” Then he opened the door and left.
Katie sat there in shock trying to accept everything he had said. Finally, she stood up and walked to her computer. She scrolled through her play list, hit a selection and turned up the volume. The song ‘Every Rose Has it’s Thorn’ came blaring from the speakers. Then she turned back to her bed and collapsed on top of it and began to cry into her pillow.

The cool water felt amazing on Kerry’s back as she stood in the shower and scrubbed her scalp to get rid of the sand ingrained in it. There was nothing like a relaxing day at the beach with the friends. Ooh I love this song, she thought as she listened to the radio blasting from the counter. She allowed her thoughts to wander; she was supposed to meet up with her sister in a little while for a night on the town. Her sister was supposed to get off work around 7 and was going to call when she was on her way home. She started to mentally go through her closet to think of something to wear.

Suddenly, the radio stopped playing. That’s weird Kerry thought. She peeked her head out from the shower curtain. Hm, the light had stopped blinking on the boom box. She reached her wet, soapy hand out from the shower and flicked the light switch. Nothing happened. So the electricity had gone out. Perfect she thought; now she wouldn’t be able to blow dry her hair. Hopefully, it was just the fuse.

She rinsed the soap out of her hair and turned off the water. She reached for the towel on the rack and dried her hair. As she opened the bathroom door she realized the hall light was out as well. She slowly felt her hand along the dark hallway to her bedroom tiptoeing barefoot along the worn, wooden floor, stepping over threatening, unrecognizable objects. There she found the lights out as well. She felt around her bed for the TV remote and tried turning on the TV and found that dead as well. Okay, so the power had gone out in the entire house. Well it probably was just from the heat. It had been about 90 degrees that day, it probably burned out a wire or something. She shivered despite the stifling summer heat. She remembered that her parents had decided to stay in the city that evening. Her dad stayed in after work and her mom had taken the Long Island Railroad in to meet him for a Broadway play. She hated being alone in black outs. She picked up the phone to call her sister’s cell phone to see if she’d be home soon. However, there was no dial tone. Okay, the phone didn’t usually go out in black outs.

She reached over to her night table and felt for her cell phone in the charger. She dialed with trembling fingers and got a weird beeping noise in her ear. She tried redialing and sending it again and heard the same beeping noise. Wait her cell phone wasn’t working either? What was going on here? She pulled her slipping towel around her more tightly.

She tried to shuffle over to her desk and managed to trip over the random objects all over her floor, definitely the one time in her life that she wished she was neater and didn’t rely on the floor for her closet. She finally bumped into her desk and began to reach around frantically for her box of matches. Her hand finally closed over the tiny box. Her trembling fingers then took three tries to light the match and bring it to the wick without flickering out.

Finally, she collapsed on the floor next to the desk with the candle in her hand. Her mind began to frantically wander. Why were all the lights out and why did none of the phones work? That never happened. She began to remember that movie Enough she had watched last week with Jennifer Lopez in it. She had used that scrambler to stop cell phones from working while she broke into the house. Oh my god, what if someone had cut power to the house and the phone lines and then used a scrambler so she couldn’t call for help? She reached around her on the floor to try to find a hard weapon to defend herself. Then she crouched down on the floor and listened carefully.

She heard the front door open and close. She heard someone shuffling around in the dark downstairs. They began to slowly make their way up the stairs. Kerry prepared herself in a fighting crouched position. She began to take deep breaths. Oh god she thought, I’m still in my towel, I don’t stand a chance. I’m begging to be raped… She sat there breathing hard as she listened to the footsteps on the stairs and the sounds of someone feeling against the wall to find their way. They hesitated on her door knob. Finally, her door began to slowly open. Kerry took a deep breath in.
“Kerry? Are you in here? Why are you sitting in the dark you fool?” her sister asked. Kerry began to laugh.
“Oh my god you scared me. I thought you were someone breaking into the house to rape me,” Kerry said.
“Oh and by sitting in the dark alone, you were really going to fend them off I see. There was a blackout on the whole eastern seaboard. Half the country is out of power. Didn’t you see that the whole block was out?” her sister asked.
“Oh I didn’t even think to look out the window,” Kerry admitted.
“Idiot,” her sister sighed, “I’m going to find a flashlight and light some candles around the house. Put some clothes on you freak.” She turned and left the room. Kerry slowly began to breathe normally and finally laughed at her own imagination.

Marie stood in the attic of the castle and looked deep inside the full length Victorian mirror. This mirror held the answers. It was said that this mirror held the power to show you your destiny. For as far back as anyone could remember, it was her family’s rite of passage into adulthood to look into this mirror on their 18th birthdays to see what destiny held in store for them. She had been waiting for this day forever. Tonight it would finally be her turn. She knew she was supposed to wait for her father to be with her so he could guide her through the process, but something about the stormy darkness of the mirror was beckoning to her.

Just a little peek wouldn’t hurt right? Her father would never have to know. She took a step closer to the mirror. The mirror began to cloud over and blurry images began to come into focus. Although logic told her she should step away from the mirror and stop, she felt like she was beyond the point of logical reasoning. She began to feel like she was floating into a trance, the mirror held her under its control. Slowly an image of a good looking man running with a golden retriever through high green grasses came into focus. He was wearing gray trousers with a striped button down shirt and a derby hat. He was throwing a stick for the dog and the dog was running after it.

An overwhelming feeling of desire came over Marie. She felt a stirring deep down in her stomach and realized that although she had no clue who or where this man was, she was meant to fall in love with him. He was her destiny. Suddenly, the image became blurry again and the mirror started to take on a luminous quality. Marie felt a beckoning to touch the mirror; once she did she realized that her hand went through the surface. She heard a voice in her head calling her to step through the mirror and allow it to introduce her.

She fell through the mirror onto the hard ground. She looked around her and saw that she was lying in the grass. She heard a voice calling to her. She looked up and saw the man and his dog standing over her. The man held out a hand to her and looked down upon her with the kindest, most gentle chocolate brown eyes she had ever seen. The golden retriever came over and licked her face.

“Are you alright?” the man asked. Marie found herself to be speechless. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face. His beautiful, suntanned, weather worn face, he was perfect. She noticed him looking strangely at her gown. She quickly glanced down at her green, embroidered, velvet gown. It was one of her best dresses; she couldn’t imagine what he’d be staring at. She finally managed to take his hand an allow him to pull her up to her feet.

“Thank you,” she finally managed to say.
“You’re welcome. Where did you come from exactly? I just turned around and saw you falling,” he said.
“I was watching you, and then there you were,” she said.
“You’re not from around here are you? I never saw a woman in a dress like that before,” he said.
“Where is here exactly?” she asked.
“Massapequa?” he searched her face for recognition and saw none, “Long Island? You know New York? Nothing huh? Well where are you from?” he asked.
“The Twelve Kingdoms. My mirror showed you to me and revealed you as my destiny,” She said.
“Destiny huh? Well that’s definitely a line I haven’t heard before,” he said scratching his head.
“The mirror has never been wrong, and it clearly showed me you. That means that we were meant to meet,” she said. The man looked at her strangely. He had no idea what to make of this strange girl. She was standing before him in an outfit that looked different than any he’d ever seen before, and what was she talking about with all this destiny nonsense? Yet why couldn’t he take his eyes off the highlights in her long brown hair or that cute dimple next to her mouth? There was definitely something about her that was drawing him closer to her.

Suddenly Marie heard her father’s voice calling to her. She could hear the anger in his voice and knew that she was in deep trouble for using the mirror without him. She saw a blinking light by the bushes and knew that her father was motioning her back to him.

“I must go,” she said.
“Wait, you just got here,” the man protested.
“I’ll somehow return to you,” she said, then she turned and ran towards the light and disappeared as quickly as she came. The man was left standing there alone with the golden retriever who trotted over to sniff the bushes where she had disappeared. He stood there and scratched his head again. What exactly had he just witnessed?

Marie stumbled back into the attic from the mirror. She pulled herself up to see her father standing before him with his arms crossed in front of him. He did not look happy.

“What did I say to you about waiting for me? You could have gotten yourself into a lot of trouble. You do not have the power to control the mirror yet,” he roared.

“I know daddy and I’m sorry. It just beckoned to me,” she explained.

“Where did it take you?” he asked.

“I don’t know, there was a man and a big, furry animal. He was dressed strangely and he said something about a place called New York,” she said. Her father got a strange look on his face.

“It took you to the human world?” he asked. He turned away and started to walk briskly towards the attic stairs.

“Wait daddy, I was in the human world?” she asked and started to hurry after him. What did this mean? No one had been to the human world in centuries.